When is sarcasm needed

Quite a few times you feel like using sarcasm just coz its illegal to kill people
here are a few situations -

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time...
I know where my watch is, where the heck is yours?
Do i point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the whole room for the TV remote
Why couldn't you change the channel manually.

3. When people say "You want to have your cake and eat it too?"
DAMN right!! what good is cake if you can't eat it!?

4. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look"
DUH! of course it is! Why would I keep looking after I've found it!?

6. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?"
If the bus came, would I be standing here??

7. When people say "Life is short"
What the heck! Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that is longer??

8. After a haircut and/or shave when people ask "Did you get a haircut/shave?"
*touch hair nervously* OMG!! My hair shrunk!!!

9. When you're sitting and someone asks "Are you awake?" (while looking in your eyes)
Hell no! I was sleeping with my eyes open

10. When people ask who the new born baby looks like
It was born 20 mins ago, it looks like a POTATO!!